I don't know about you, but single-person, public restrooms are a heap of anxiety for me. Not because I wont use them, but because I tend to obsess about and over think the situation.
The Walk Over
I am overly cautious while walking to, and entering the bathroom. I realize this stems from my own paranoid (which you will read about later) but I believe it to be with other people's best interest in mind. On my way over to the bathroom, I always listen closely to see if I can hear someone in the bathroom before I go in. If I can, I will turn around and walk the other way. Why? Well what if someone is coming out of the bathroom, after finishing #2, right as I walk in? What if it smells bad? What if it's my boss? I don't want the person leaving the bathroom to be embarrassed by the vile stench they have created, so I will just walk away and avoid the situation all together. I know they may not even be going to the bathroom (maybe they are just washing their hands or blowing their nose) but I would rather not risk their embarrassment.
If I don't hear anything on the approach, I will proceed to step two, and slowly apply pressure to the handle to see if it is locked. If it is, I will have touched it so gently, the person on the inside will not have been alerted to my presence, and can continue uninterrupted. If it is unlocked, I will slowly open it, while averting my eyes, just in case there is someone on the inside who has forgotten to lock the door. I open the door slowly to allow time for someone to frantically yell "Ah there's someone in here!" and I avert my eyes because I think that seeing a co-worker dropping a deuce would be a tremendously awkward and traumatizing experience for the both of us.
The Prep
First of all, in one of my more OCD tendencies, I must wash my hands BEFORE I use the restroom, as well as after I am finished. I do this to ensure nothing that is on my hand transfers to my p-ner, and nothing from my weenis transfers to my hands (and in turn my eyes, ears, nose, or mouth). Secondly, and I don't care that this is a waste of water, I will not be able to sit down if there is ANYTHING in the toilet (one square of toilet paper stuck to the side, soap bubbles, crap crumbs...it doesn't matter) so if there is something there, I will have to flush it first. I can't really explain it, but it's kind of a routine.
The Act
When I use the restroom for anything other than a quick trip, I need to scrub and dry the area with toilet paper or paper towels (even if it's already dry). On some occasions, Clorox Disinfecting Wipes (I prefer the lemon scented) are needed to prep the zone, but this is reserved for places I feel are the most unclean. After I have adequately sanitized the commode (including the area at the base of the toilet where men tend to drip urine) I am ready for the task at hand. While taking care of business, I check and recheck the lock on the door for fear that someone will magically be able to open the door and accidentally walk in on me. Then, as if a locked door wasn't security enough, I will set my foot in front of the door to stop it from swinging open in case someone tries to push their way in through. Whatever, I know it doesn't make sense.
So, as I said, I will use public restrooms, but because of all of that, it is a rare occasion.
The Walk Over
I am overly cautious while walking to, and entering the bathroom. I realize this stems from my own paranoid (which you will read about later) but I believe it to be with other people's best interest in mind. On my way over to the bathroom, I always listen closely to see if I can hear someone in the bathroom before I go in. If I can, I will turn around and walk the other way. Why? Well what if someone is coming out of the bathroom, after finishing #2, right as I walk in? What if it smells bad? What if it's my boss? I don't want the person leaving the bathroom to be embarrassed by the vile stench they have created, so I will just walk away and avoid the situation all together. I know they may not even be going to the bathroom (maybe they are just washing their hands or blowing their nose) but I would rather not risk their embarrassment.
If I don't hear anything on the approach, I will proceed to step two, and slowly apply pressure to the handle to see if it is locked. If it is, I will have touched it so gently, the person on the inside will not have been alerted to my presence, and can continue uninterrupted. If it is unlocked, I will slowly open it, while averting my eyes, just in case there is someone on the inside who has forgotten to lock the door. I open the door slowly to allow time for someone to frantically yell "Ah there's someone in here!" and I avert my eyes because I think that seeing a co-worker dropping a deuce would be a tremendously awkward and traumatizing experience for the both of us.
The Prep
First of all, in one of my more OCD tendencies, I must wash my hands BEFORE I use the restroom, as well as after I am finished. I do this to ensure nothing that is on my hand transfers to my p-ner, and nothing from my weenis transfers to my hands (and in turn my eyes, ears, nose, or mouth). Secondly, and I don't care that this is a waste of water, I will not be able to sit down if there is ANYTHING in the toilet (one square of toilet paper stuck to the side, soap bubbles, crap crumbs...it doesn't matter) so if there is something there, I will have to flush it first. I can't really explain it, but it's kind of a routine.
The Act
When I use the restroom for anything other than a quick trip, I need to scrub and dry the area with toilet paper or paper towels (even if it's already dry). On some occasions, Clorox Disinfecting Wipes (I prefer the lemon scented) are needed to prep the zone, but this is reserved for places I feel are the most unclean. After I have adequately sanitized the commode (including the area at the base of the toilet where men tend to drip urine) I am ready for the task at hand. While taking care of business, I check and recheck the lock on the door for fear that someone will magically be able to open the door and accidentally walk in on me. Then, as if a locked door wasn't security enough, I will set my foot in front of the door to stop it from swinging open in case someone tries to push their way in through. Whatever, I know it doesn't make sense.
So, as I said, I will use public restrooms, but because of all of that, it is a rare occasion.
OMG!!!! LOOOOL x infinite! That was hilarious!!!!! I could understand because I also have OCD.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, sometimes, I feel that we see things that others don't. Like everyone around me seems to wing it when going to the restroom.
In fact, I do take note of it cause I envy them for it. They walk in, and walk out...no obsessions, no pre-cleaning tasks and no compulsions later. And I always wonder...how do they do it??
Oh, and about the door magically opening after you know you locked it...epic! But you know what really bugs me?? When I find urine/blood on toilet seats and wet spots around the toilet. Gross!!
It's like I wish I could walk into a clean restroom just to do my business and not clean up after anybody else's. No wonder we have OCD.
You know what? I think we need to stop being so OC and leave that disorder for really filthy people to try. We should trust that our cleanliness is more than enough considering we have suffered from OCD. I think it's time that we should expose/flood ourselves!!!!
Sometimes, I feel that because I have a fear of all kinds of nasty crap that they tend to follow me. So, it's like I expect to find stuff that I have to clean or be cautious about. And I hate being cautious...it's enough that we have to be cautious about other things in our lives.
Dang, it's like I wish I could run across a freakin field without the fear of getting dog poop on my sneakers, you know?
BTW, youtube Dane Cook on Public Restrooms. Hil-ar-ious!
Thanks for the article/blog!
you cancel out your hand washing prep by cleaning the toilet in the act. to be quite honest, i would be more comfortable transferring my grimy, invisible-germ-having hand's toxicity than some other foul human's that were contracted through public restroom cleaning. just a thought.
ReplyDelete