Christmas Lights

Before it gets too far away from Christmas, I want to go over a few things. I wanted to get this out before Christmas, but things don't always work out as planned. So, without further ado, here is my rant on Christmas Lights. "Yeah-Boo" style.

Like all humans, I prefer symmetry. Whether you know it or not, you are more attracted to symmetrical people than non-symmetrical hideous ogres. It's just more visually appealing. (I don't know the psychology behind that...it's not like I majored in psychology or anything.) Anyway, for me, Christmas lights are the same thing. Heart does not matter to me. You have to put a reasonable amount of effort into it, and simply put, it just has to look good. One string across the top doesn't cut it anymore. This is America...the fattest nation in the world. Go big or go home. So to please my fans, I became an extreme voyeur and went around taking pictures of people's houses - good and bad. Thankfully no one called the police on me.

This might be the lamest one I saw. One string of white lights across the roof top. It's even drooping in some spots. Come on people. This one gets a big fat BOOOO!

This one is not quite as bad because it has some color, but again, one single strand of blue lights. I couldn't get a picture of it, but the single strand also stops part way around the side of the house facing the street. Classy. The weirdest part was that these lights were a strange deep blue. Not festive at all. If anything, they were eerie. This one gets a slightly less enthusiastic BOOO!

Now look at this one. It has a great mix of color, shapes, sizes, and overall it is pretty symmetrical. All the little trees are draped in lights. We have blue and white with a hint of red. Even a little bow at the point of the roof. This one gets a resounding YEAH!

To crush the momentum we were gaining, may I present to you this masterpiece. (Is the sarcasm coming through loud enough?) This person has a good mix of color, but as you can see, decided that, instead of continuing around the side of the house, they would double up the strand for half of the front of the house, until the string of lights ran out. To me, this says, "There the house is decorated, now can I watch my stories." *said with a hick accent* This one, too, gets a lame-ass BOO!

To put us back on track, we have this simple, yet elegant number. Both floors of the house have an even amount of ice sickles on them, and the garage has its own lights as well. Both sides of the walk way are lined with candy canes, and a lovely snowman and Christmas trees greet you as you walk into the house. Although they are all on one side, it is the actual center of the house because the porch itself off-center. I would have liked to see something around the windows, but now they have some room for improvement for next year. This one gets an average YEAH.

Now you might think that this next one will get a whole-hearted YEAH, but that is most definitely not the case. It's true that there is a nice blend of colors, but it looks very sloppy. Look at the pillar. The lights are strung up the pillar at different angles. The blue lights in the planter look like they were dropped there on accident. And the single strand of big glass lights along the roof line droop in a non-uniform way. I will say that they tried to "go all out," if you will, they just needed to be a little more precise with their execution. This one gets somewhat muted Boo.

And finally, last and least, my pick for laziest decorator this holiday season. Look at this mess. One string of red lights, on random parts of the roof. I know it is hard to tell, but there is nothing obstructing the view here. Where the lights stop, the lights actually stop. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Where ever the string of lights happened to end, that was okay for this person. My favorite part is the two inches of lights on the tree in the bottom right corner. I think it's a nice touch. This one gets my biggest, laziest BOOOOO!